Emmerlee | Burnsville, MN
Images by Verna Pitts
"One of the shifts from this project is to really explore what I want and need. What feels good to me... to live fully with as much grace for myself and others as I can and let go of that perfectionism."
"My old story was one of trauma; I had abuse and trauma with both my parents and a couple of boyfriends, including my son's father. My body wasn't safe. I hid from it. Covered it up, numbed it out with food and generally was very unhappy with its flaws and didn't treat it well. Now, I want to be strong and healthy. To feed my body well. To exercise and keep it as fit and healthy as it can be so that I can do everything in life that I want to. I want to treat it well and with kindness. I want to love my body with all of its parts and to make peace with each stage as it comes.
I have been working for many years on losing weight, getting and staying fit. Working with others to help them to be healthy and fit. During this project I really started paying attention to the thoughts that I have and the blurts that flit through my mind. I'm telling myself to be nice as I hear those voices talk about my tummy or any other part. I am going to treat myself with grace and kindness.
I have been having many shifts about what a happy marriage looks and feels like, and what it means to really talk about those things in a real and raw way. I do have trauma that has shaped my life, and while I can be a great cheerleader and help to other people, I haven't always done that for myself. I have struggled with crippling fear about not being good enough, and perfectionism in my work, and how I feel about myself and my body. One of the shifts from this project is to really explore what I want and need. What feels good to me. And to keeping working on things. To keep asking those questions and not just settle and maintain; to live fully with as much grace for myself and others as I can and let go of that perfectionism."
Images of Emmerlee by Verna Pitts.